International Women’s Day is here again and while we love the messages of empowerment, some phrases just don’t hit the way people think they do. You know the ones, those well-meaning but outdated, tone-deaf or straight-up patronizing comments that make women everywhere roll their eyes.
So let’s talk about them. And more importantly, let’s reframe the conversation with what we actually want to hear instead.
1. “You’re so strong for a woman.”
What we hear: Strength isn’t the norm for women and when we show it, it’s surprising.
What we’d rather hear: “You’re strong. Period.”
Women’s strength, whether physical, mental or emotional, isn’t some rare exception. We don’t need a qualifier.
2. “You don’t look like a (fill in the blank)!”
What we hear: There’s a single way to look like a CEO, engineer, athlete or even a mom?
What we’d rather hear: “I admire how you’re breaking stereotypes.”
Women exist in every field, in every form, at every stage of life. Let’s normalize diversity instead of making it sound unusual.
3. “Smile! You look prettier when you do.”
What we hear: Your face should always be pleasant for other people’s comfort.
What we’d rather hear: Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Our resting face isn’t an invitation for commentary. We smile when we want to.
4. “When are you getting married?” / “When are you having kids?”
What we hear: A woman’s success is still measured by traditional milestones.
What we’d rather hear: “What’s next for you?”
Some women want marriage and kids. Some don’t. Some are on their own timeline. Let’s just support their choices.
5. “You’re too emotional.”
What we hear: Rationality is a male trait and showing emotion is a weakness.
What we’d rather hear: “Your passion and empathy are powerful.”
Expressing emotions isn’t a flaw, it’s a sign of humanity, intelligence and leadership.
6. “Are you sure you can handle that?”
What we hear: Women are fragile or incapable.
What we’d rather hear: “I know you’ve got this.”
Because we do. And if we don’t, we’ll figure it out just like anyone else.
7. “You’re not like other girls.”
What we hear: Other women are basic but you’re the exception.
What we’d rather hear: “I appreciate what makes you unique.”
Women don’t need to be pitted against each other. We’re all unique, strong and capable in our own ways.
8. “She’s too bossy.”
What we hear: Women in leadership are intimidating while men are assertive.
What we’d rather hear: “She’s a great leader.”
Leadership should be respected, not gendered.
9. “IWD is great but what about International Men’s Day?”
What we hear: A day dedicated to uplifting women must be taking something away from men.
What we’d rather hear: “How can I support women beyond just one day?”
Because that’s the real conversation we need to have.
10. “We support women!” (Without action.)
What we hear: A nice slogan with no real impact.
What we’d rather hear: “Here’s what we’re doing to support women all year round.”
Words are easy. Actions matter more.
This International Women’s Day, let’s move past outdated phrases and into real empowerment. It’s not just about what we say, it’s about what we do.
And to every woman reading this, keep being bold. Keep taking up space. Keep rewriting the rules. We’re tired of hearing the same old lines and we’re more than ready to change the conversation.
What’s a phrase you’re tired of hearing? Share your thoughts!
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